Several posts have been started and then abandoned over the last week– between interruptions and my own mental wanderings, there’s not much focus to be found. There were also many, many emails that were begun… but then I realized days later that I never hit SEND.

Having Josh home for four days last week instead of the usual two made so much difference. The best news I’ve had in a while: for the next month, we’ll get to continue that pattern. He’ll be in Tulsa Mon-Wed and then will work remotely from home for the rest of the week. This is good, because I have been on a fast track to crazy. How do single parents do it? They are cut from stronger fabric than I.

Not that it’s ever stopped me before, but I’ve got nothing of interest to write about. So yeah, g’nite.

This is for you, Eiwe– Lazy Monday is a couple of 11-year-olds lip synching to the Chronic(WHAT?)cles of Narnia rap. Y’know, I was nowhere near that hip when I was 11. Oh, wait, I’m not that hip NOW. Max could probably pull it off– he’s a complete ham. Hammy Hammerton and then some.

I got to take a nap today! Max and Josh went to the movies to catch Curious George– Khai, who threw a giant fit at the last minute, decided he didn’t want to go and promptly fell asleep on the couch. I thought about doing something productive for about .06 seconds and then curled up next to him. Sleep evaded me at first, so I turned to the History channel and learned about dinosaurs in Egypt– good dream fodder, that.

I found this interesting: The Clean Sweep Program is a checklist of 100 items which, when completed, give one complete personal freedom. My score? 48 out of 100… which isn’t really too surprising right now. Of course, I take everything with a grain of salt, but it’s got some valuable points to ponder. [via Lifehacker]

From the WTF files: Kiefer Sutherland has a grandson! How is that even possible? I first remember seeing him in The Lost Boys, though at the time I was really only looking at Corey Haim. Yes, yes… I admit it. At least it wasn’t the *other* Corey. Anyway. Kiefer has a year-old grandson and that just doesn’t fit into my own personal timeline of the world. Google to the rescue– the baby is his adopted daughter’s. I am somewhat assuaged.

Now it’s time for chocolate martinis, Battlestar Galactica and snuggles with my Josh. [insert happy sigh here]

The wind is blowing so hard and in such long gusts that it kind of sounds like the ocean. It’s unexpectedly calming.

It’s been a weird but good day. I’m not used to having Josh around and it messes with the daily routines a bit… but I like it anyway. He went out this evening for dinner and a movie with friends; when he first told me, I was angry. He’s supposed to spend time with ME! I’ve been t-r-a-p-p-e-d here with the kids for weeks now; I should be the one that gets to go out! I told him that honestly, yes, I’d be a little angry and resentful– but that I’d get over it. He hasn’t had time with his friends, either; he also deserves to go out and have a good time. Oddly enough, just telling him how I really felt kind of made it go away, and I’m actually glad he’s out and hope they’re having fun. Isn’t it fortunate that you don’t live in my head? It’s a volatile place.

I’ve become a very boring person. Don’t get me wrong– I don’t ever get bored– there is always something that needs done; but motherhood has supplanted so many pieces of me that I am not even sure what I enjoy anymore. I used to be a lot more interesting, and was always experiencing, learning and growing. Not so much, over the last few years. It seems like I just don’t even have the energy to go out and take on more. What gives? How do I find the balance? I know there’s no simple answer, but I need to shift things somehow. I want to feel like I have something to offer– if that makes any sense at all. Maybe my snowglobe just needs a good shake. I don’t know.

The Godiva truffles? Gone. All of them. They were deeeeeeelectable. I’d better go join that gym… even if it is expensive. Then I can buy more truffles! Happiness in a box.

I hadn’t really dared to hope that it would happen– but Josh is on his way home right now! His flight lands in about an hour. I’m both relieved and pleasantly surprised… and just so ready to spend some time with him. Max & Khai are excited, which of course means that there will be no sleep prior to picking Josh up at the airport. I’m okay with that, really… because tomorrow I will have backup. I might even get to do the grocery shopping by myself! Lofty dreams, I know.

The weather was perfect today– 80 degrees, sunny, slight breeze. If there were more days like this, I might actually like living in Texas. We spent 3+ hours playing outside, and the boys loved covering themselves head to toe in mud, dirt, dead grass and crumbly leaves. I read a book and wished a hammock would magically appear.

Excerpt from an email my sister sent me today:

You and Josh can leave the kids here with us this summer and we can rotate
days off so they will always have someone with them. Then you guys can fly
out of Albuquerque to Mexico or some beach somewhere. Then you can come
back and WE can spend time together. Then you can go back home. Yes, I
know I am a genius. Yes, you can kiss my feet later. There is your
vacation - even if you have to wait a few months.

I love my sister. :) She’s a smartass, but she also bakes amazing cookies. That helps make up for it. Oh, and her lemon chicken picatta? To die for.

Hours and hours could be spent browsing at Cribcandy. I don’t need any of it, but it’s all pretty. In particular, I like this bed and this switchplate.

Also, so I don’t forget: SuperNaturale.com seems to be full of good stuff. And by ‘good stuff’ I mean ‘things worth giving up sleep to read about’.

Oh-kayyyy, I’m off to go pick up my dahling hubby now. YAY! I promise to respond to all your comments and emails soon, lovelies. You help keep me from feeling so lonely– thank you for that.

*Hope is the dream of a soul awake. — French proverb, according to le Interweb. Which is *always* correct, oui?

My husband rocks. He surprised me with Valentine’s gifts– not only did he get me a necklace and flowers, but topped it off with a box of Godiva truffles. MmMmMMm. He’s in Tulsa again this week, but hopefully he’ll get to come home a little earlier than usual. I’m a broken record, I know… but I MISS HIM.

Max and Khai drew me special Valentine’s pictures, complete with heart stickers… and I totally melted. They can be so sweet when they’re not destroying the world. Khai has been saying ‘happy love day’ and Max is awestruck by the amount of candy he got in his mailbox at school. He got cards, too– but the candy impressed him more.

Randomness:

How have I not ever heard of Giant’s Causeway in Ireland? It’s beautiful. I want to see it in person. More on columnar jointing here. Devil’s Postpile in California is now on my ‘places to visit’ list, as well.

This article on procrastination hit close to home (she types while actively putting off some much-needed sleep). Of the three types of procrastinators mentioned, I’m most definitely an avoider: may be avoiding fear of failure or even fear of success, but in either case are very concerned with what others think of them; they would rather have others think they lack effort than ability. I don’t like it, but it’s true. Nothing like having a random article on the internet give you a nice helping of awareness… at least now I can dig into it and do something about changing it.

Has anyone tried CoComment to keep up with blog comments?

If What’s Up were actually pulling up global news headlines/articles in real-time, it would be Way Cool.

I’ve not even had the chance to dig into this yet, but oh, I will. From MetaFilter: Freak Radio for Podcast Junkies - MondoGlobo.net. I’m not a Podcast Junkie, but I have a healthy respect for Mondo 2000. So it’s worth checking out, yeah? The R U Sirius Show alone should keep me busy for a while.

Tomorrow is library day. Contain yourselves, please. The boys and I will also be making up stories about Valentine’s Day and cooking meatballs… I lead an exciting life.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Hello, internet! I missed you! I take for granted that on most days I get to check in on my friends and keep up with the world somewhat… then I go without for a while and realize that I’m spoiled. Oh, and also that I’d be much more crazy without you. How did stay-at-home-moms survive before the internet? Wait, how did anyone survive before the internet?

The wedding was beautiful– Chris did an amazing job putting everything together. She even made her own dress! The look on my brother’s face when he first saw her coming down the aisle was priceless… it made me cry a little. Here’s a photo that my Uncle Mike took:

Max, ring-bearer extraordinaire, developed quite a crush on the flower girl, Aspen. At the reception, they decided they’d marry each other once they are grown up. There’s a bit of sibling rivalry there, too– Khai was taken with “the pretty girl in a dress” as well. Max did a great job during the ceremony (he only sat down once! and got back up when I motioned to him!); I was a little apprehensive because during the rehearsal he did a little dinosaur dance, complete with growly-face, while the organist was playing the wedding march. I asked him to save the dinosaur dance for the party after the wedding, and I got an eye-roll from him: “It was a dinosaur ACT, not a dance. It sounded like monster music.”

Oh! I can’t forget to mention that I made Matt & Chris giant hula hoops for one of their wedding presents. Because money is boring, y’know? It was Max’s idea originally– when I asked him what a good wedding gift would be, his answer was HULA HOOPS.

One more bit of Max-wisdom, from the drive home yesterday– “Kisses are like hundreds and hundreds of pieces of LOVE!” How can you argue with that? He makes me smile.

Not too long ago, a dear friend gave me some Lancôme trial-size makeup samples that she knew she wouldn’t use. Among the goodies: a tiny tube of mascara. I didn’t use it for a couple of weeks, because…mascara is mascara, right?

Oh, no. I was so wrong. Définicils is the best mascara I’ve ever used, by far. I can rub my eyes, and it doesn’t smear. One night, I fell asleep on the couch– my face didn’t get washed until ~4am. No smudging. No raccoon-eyes. Is it wrong for me to be in love with this mascara? Yes. Why? It’s $22 per tube.

I’ve been a Great Lash girl since day one– it’s between $4 and $6 a pop. Not bad, especially considering how long it lasts me. But $22? I found a site that sells it for $11…. but still. Ouch.

This is where I get yelled at by various and sundry people, because it’s just mascara. Yeah. I know. It’s neurotic, but I put powder and mascara on to go to the grocery store. It gives me some sort of false sense of security that I can just blend in and disappear.

Wonder Woman has her invisible jet… I have mascara.

There’s much packing to do still — we leave for Norman tomorrow. Lists have been made… that’s progress, right? Nothing gets done unless there’s a list.

So I’m getting up now. No more procrastinating.

Any second now.

Really.

Just as soon as I drop $11 on that mascara…

Today in Target a 50-something-year-old man was ahead of me in the checkout line. He was buying a box of Nicorette and got carded– the incredulous stare on his face almost made me laugh out loud. I held it in, somehow. Since when do they card for stuff like that?

I feel strange lately. I can’t describe it, so ’strange’ will have to suffice. Okay, maybe ‘more strange than usual’ would be more fitting.

Tomorrow morning I’ve got an appointment at a nearby gym; they’ve got free childcare, so I could easily go there in the mornings after dropping Max off at school. They’ve got both Pilates and yoga in addition to the normal fare, so I’m hopeful that the rates are good. Khai and I would still have some alone time after the gym and he’d also get to play with other kids… I think that would be fun for him. Oh, and hey, exercising more would be good for me! Everything else in my life currently centers around my kids… so this would be something just for me. It might be necessary if I wish to continue life as a mostly sane person.

Better off Dead was mentioned elsewhere this morning and I think I’m going to have to pull out the VHS tapes and find it. I love John Cusack. Has anyone seen Must Love Dogs? It’s on Pay-Per-View right now and I might have to break down and watch it.

I’m watching a lot more movies since Josh has been gone so much– though I have a hard time just sitting and watching a movie. I’m addicted to multi-tasking. Maybe that’s because the only time I can really be productive is when the kids are sleeping… and it’s also the only time when I can watch a movie with any hope of actually knowing what the movie is about.

The laundry is done, the dishwasher is running, bellies are full and Josh is playing with the boys back in their bedroom. Life is good.

Yesterday, I spent ~3 hours in the mall; I ended up going into all but two of the clothing stores. I’m too damn picky– I only liked two dresses enough to try them on. Also, I wish someone would figure out a way to standardize sizing… I’ve gotten to where I grab a dress in a range of three sizes since the numbers don’t really mean anything. Okay, enough whining. I did finally buy a dress and while I don’t love it, it’ll work. I’m tired of thinking about it!

This morning’s pancakes were possibly the best I’ve ever made (though Josh says my pumpkin pancakes still hold the world’s best pancake title). I made a leek and zucchini frittata on Friday that was sooooo tasty– Max raved about it. One of the many things on my to-do list is to make a cooking section on my website where I can put some of these recipes– partly so that I have a place to archive them (it would be searchable, which is a bonus) and partly so that other people who live wheat- and dairy-free will have one more source for recipes. When I first had to take those out of my diet I was afraid I’d never be able to adjust. It’s tough. By now, I’m a pro at modifying and inventing recipes… and some of them turn out to be delicious.

The Week in Review makes me happy. So does this. Playing with the many sounds from Super Mario Bros. brings back all kinds of warm and gooshy feelings– I remember playing for hours and hours on end after we got our first Nintendo. That was…hmm… 1987? Wow.

*Douglas Adams

There’s more email in my inbox than I know what to do with and really, since it’s not going anywhere, it’s going to sit there for a while longer. This sinus-headcold-sore throat thing has turned my brain to mush. Articulation skills? Am I even able to spell articulation? I don’t know! Thinking right now is the mental equivalent of wading through mashed potatoes. With lumps. And not enough butter!

Since my head is full of mashed potatoes, I’ll take this opportunity to tell you that my fridge is FULL of beautiful fresh produce. Khai and I trekked to Sprouts this morning and they have the best fresh veggies I’ve found in the area. It has no business making me this happy… but it does. Now I’m waving to Jess & Daniel and shouting thank you!!! for telling me about the produce mecca. There will be some good cookin’ going on this weekend.

Does anyone else watch Project Runway? I was all but rolling on the floor last night.

Last week my ‘little’ brother and I were talking about taxes, and in realizing what we were doing, quickly negated the maturity implied therein by reminding ourselves that we’d just finished discussing Paris Hilton’s vapidity. See? It’s all okay. One week from tomorrow he’ll be a married man. Now THAT is just weird.

Also, tomorrow? Joshy comes home!