Tonight is the opening for The Yoga Bar near downtown Ft. Worth… and then hopefully we’ll catch a late showing of A.I. But first, I have to get through ‘work’ with my sanity intact. It’s still SO slow… hopefully this baby will come next week so I don’t have to sit through another week of nothing. All of this waiting is much easier when I’ve actually got things to keep myself occupied!

These past few months have just flown by… partly because we’ve been so busy, but also because things are good. Time seems to move faster when I’m happy for some reason; maybe because when I’m depressed or sad everything feels so heavy and slow. Things have been SO much better since moving from the Andover house– I was so miserable there. Living with people is not worth the stress, no matter HOW cheap the rent may be. That period of time was just as hard for me as the time before the divorce– that awful feeling of being stuck just kind of permeated everything. I was depressed most of the time, and over-emotional…ugh. I pretty much just hated everything about that whole situation. So glad that’s over. It’s a miracle that we’re still as close to Matt as we are– I’m glad that didn’t get ruined along with everything else. Anyway, so things are happy now, and seem to be pointing in a positive direction. =)

The lunch of champions! Peanut butter & jelly, cheetos, apricots, and an A&W. At one time in my life, I was health-conscious. That time has passed. I have tried to eat better while pregnant– I even have fruits and vegetables regularly (gasp!)… but I still ingest more sugar than I should. What can I say? I’m addicted to the stuff! Lately it’s only been the frozen variety of sugar: snow-cones, ice cream, slushes– I’m hot all the time, thanks to the little space heater I’m carrying around in my belly. Mmm, a snow-cone right now would be good…

Have been listening to Astral Projection all morning while doing the most inane, mind-numbing task I can think of: tabulating and categorizing 10 courses’ worth of graphics that we have produced in recent months. Oh…it just hurts. At least the music is good. Can’t I just write a script to do this all for me?

MUHAHAHA. I will read Erica’s mind!

…and the word of the day is: schadenfreude • \SHAH-dun-froy-duh\ • (noun, often capitalized) : enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. [from Metafilter]

Current craving: cappuccino Jelly Belly jellybeans. I’ll have to make due with leftover ice cream cake from Marble Slab Creamery…. =) Oh, darn.

Ahhh… a blissful weekend of doing nearly nothing. How rare are those? VERY, apparently. I actually found myself feeling guilty for lying around… trying to think of things that needed to be done… and then talking myself back into laziness again. Yeah, I’m weird. Nancy says I need to meditate, but there’s just too much going on in my head right now for that. Or maybe I’m just resisting for no good reason at all because I do that sometimes. ???

Just two weeks and some change until baby is due… it still strikes me with terror from time to time. Other times I feel warm, mommy-like gooshiness; sometimes it’s just pure anticipation. I know everything will be fine, but I do have fleeting thoughts that ask whether or not I’m really ready for this. One wonderful thing is that my impatience overrides my fears of childbirth… =)

Rachel says she might come visit this weekend. I hope she does… she’s been in a strange place for quite a few months now, and we’ve grown apart. It would be nice to have some time to talk, and just be together. I feel bad that we aren’t as close as we used to be, but I also feel like she’s locked me out to some extent. Probably a defense mechanism…

There’s an open house for The Yoga Bar in Ft. Worth this Friday at 8pm– my friend Glenna decided to follow her passion and open a yoga studio! I’m so proud of her… it has taken a lot of courage for her to make this leap.

Hmm. Tired. Disinterested in work.

Friday. Finally. Tomorrow I get to sleep in (if I can). Woke up at 5:45 this morning with a growling stomach and thoughts of flash movies that need to be finished for work… what a wonderful way to start the day!

I’ve been feeling nauseous off and on lately, and kind of dizzy– just out of sorts in general. I imagine it’s the wild hormone ride I’m on, but who knows. I could go into labor at any time, so of course I’m hyper-aware of everything my body is doing right now since I don’t *really* know what the first signs of labor are going to feel like. The back cramps are ever-present, but I’m even watchful of those… are they hurting worse? In a different spot? Obsessed? Why yes, I am.

Our neighbors across the street left a baby gift on our doorstep yesterday– they don’t even know our names. We thought that was so sweet of them…

My hair is really short. Really really short. But it feels good, and it’s easy. I love my hairstylist! I am so glad I finally found someone who can make my hair look like how I imagine it. ;) It only took me three years to find her. She uses this volumizing spray that smells soooooo good… I need to find out what it is so I can buy some.

Must work. Flash calls…

Ever have one of those days where you’re just not quite right? Today is one of those days. I feel like reality is about .72 degrees to the left of me, and I’m kind of stuck in that blurry area in between.

I have an insatiable craving for pop tarts today… go figure! I don’t know where that came from. I’m trying to resist… I have healthy food that I should eat instead, and unlike pop tarts, the healthy food is sitting here right in front of me. But…but…pop tarts!!! YUM!

After doing some research on the strep b stuff (GBS - group b strep), I found a website that says out of 10,000 babies born to GBS positive moms who use IV antibiotics during delivery, only one will get infected. That’s an encouraging statistic.

Tomorrow I’m getting my hair cut! WOOOHOOOO! I’m going to have her cut quite a bit off– the less I have to mess with, the better.

Work is weird. I have four graphics left to finish, then I’m caught up until next Thursday. Wish I could just spend that down time at home…

Found out this morning that I tested positive for strep b. There’s nothing I can do about it right now, but when I go into labor, they’ll have to give me some antibiotics so that hopefully it won’t be passed on to the baby. It can cause heart problems, brain damage– all kinds of horrific things. I’m trying not to worry about it–chances are that the antibiotics will prevent anything from infecting him–but it’s hard to not worry about something so potentially damaging. I wish there were something I could be doing to reduce the risk of infection in the baby. We won’t know until after delivery, and if he does get it, they’ll put him on IV antibiotics. All we can do at this point is hope for the best.

I did find out that if we go past the due date, the doctor will induce labor after one week. So, that means within four weeks, we’ll definitely have a baby! Just three weeks til the due date now…

It was an incredibly busy weekend… had class all day Saturday, then did some errands– was supposed to go to Jesse’s show at the Ridglea, but was hurting too much by that evening. I’m still not used to this new body and the less-than-impressive stamina. I never really realize that I’ve done too much until I’m *really* hurting… and by then it’s much too late to do anything about it. Anyway, we missed his show, and I still feel bad that we did. :\

We celebrated Father’s Day by doing lunch with Josh’s dad and then spending some time with his grandparents in Dallas. Everyone seemed to enjoy it– it’s strange how just taking some time out to visit with people makes them feel so good. Wish I could have given my daddy a big father’s day hug, too.

I’m trying not to be distracted, really… I guess my mind is just on so many other things than work right now. It will be a busy week, though– at least that will keep me a little more focused.